Let Down
by chibi-hime123
Summary: “You’re just a let down, another one of my mistakes. I never loved you anyway. I never did and I never will.” The fair-haired ex-mafia leader said with no hint of regret on his perfect features.


"You're just a let down, another one of my mistakes. I never loved you anyway. I never did and I never will." The fair-haired ex-mafia leader said with no hint of regret on his perfect features.

I felt my heart shatter into pieces and my vision blur. My mind was racing with a million reasons of why he said this. _He must not mean it, _I thought repeatedly to keep myself from falling apart. My worst nightmares were confirmed as he walked out of our house with his multiple suitcases in tow. I kept my feelings hidden as best as I could until he left, not wanting him to remember me as a blubbering fool. After the door closed my world became blurry and lost all meaning. My legs gave out and I fell into a bawling heap in front of the door, not having enough strength to move anymore. Mello was my strength; he was my everything and now he was gone. What is one supposed to do without their source of life?

I eventually gathered my self and began piecing together my heart as much as I could with out the missing parts that Mello took with him. Deciding to try to start over as best as I could, I began playing my new Xbox. Although it did not bring me the usual bliss, it kept my mind focused and away from hazardous thoughts. After playing for hours I began to get bored, which is a rare occasion when I am playing video games. My mind began to wander to dangerous topics and I felt my patchwork heart begin to come undone. I folded into myself once more and began to mourn the loss of my other half.

My mind came to the stunning realization: I could end it. Just a couple cuts and it would be over. In heaven, surely you could be with the one you love, even if he does not love you back. I unfolded myself and slithered my way into the kitchen. I spied the handles of my lovely saviors. Choosing the medium sized blade, I crept back into my previously shared room, deciding that our bed would be a better resting place than the couch. _Our._ No, it is not ours. It never will be again. This though cemented my resolve and while keeping dark thoughts coursing through my cerebrum, I laid down on the soft bed. The knife felt warm with power in my hand and I raised it to observe the contours of the metal. Bringing down the sharp edge to my skin, I made a small cut to test the pain. A small smile found its way onto my face as I watched crimson beads form on my pale skin. I cut again and was once more rewarded with scarlet droplets. Feeling the pleasant pain course through my veins I sliced more, this time deeper. The blood flowed out of my body in beautiful rivulets, staining the nautical blue sheets. My head began to spin delightfully and the world disappeared from my vision, replaced by an image of the one that I love.

I awoke in my bloodstained bed, drained and somber. My wonderful plan had failed; I was still tied to the horrid earth. Dragging my body slowly to the kitchen, I gathered nourishment and fed my body. Feeling awake and as energized as I could get, I wandered over to my computer and turned it on. Messages alerting me of my multiple emails floated on the screen in front of a smiling Mello. I checked them and gained multiple new customers. I finished the jobs quickly and amassed more money.

Suddenly bored of my mundane hacking routine, I slipped from my chair and wandered aimlessly through the house. Ending up at my room, I collapsed onto the now red sheets and fell into a dreamless sleep.

I opened my eyes drowsily after hearing the loud alarm that Mello sets to wake me up. I rolled over and took my anger out on the unsuspecting alarm clock before closing my eyes for a few more minutes of sleep. The feeling of a warm body against my back jolted me awake. I turned over wearily wondering who it could possibly be. My heart skipped a beat as I saw tendrils of hair the color of sunlight strewn messily across the pillow next to mine in the faint moonlight. _Great, it's only been two days with out him and I am already hallucinating, _I thought. _Although it feels like it's been a lifetime since he left,_ my sub-conscious added solemnly. I touched his shoulder lightly, hoping and praying that he was real. I was shocked and thankful when my hand met skin. He groaned softly and turned over, allowing me to see his beautiful, scarred face. I stroked his face affectionately, thinking he might disappear anytime, and was greeted with gorgeous azure orbs, clouded by sleepiness. I was expecting him to leap out of bed or punch me, but instead he leaned in slowly and captured my lips in a sweet and chaste kiss. Realization hit me like a wave of delightfully warm water on a cold day. I settled back into bed, wrapped my arms around him, and laid my head on his chest. I fell into another dream, comforted by the steady rhythm of my lover's heart.


End file.
